Over It

Dear Heat and Humidity,

We talked the other day about you not coming back for the remainder of this year. I know you raised some good points about it being "only early September" and all, and that you really felt like your job here in Virginia Beach wasn't done, but this letter is to inform you otherwise.

On behalf of most of the residents here (I can't speak for all of us, because it's a military town and some people who happen to reside here are actually from places like Texas and California and actually enjoy you), we'd really appreciate it if you'd pack your belongings and haul ass outta here. We're done. Autumn is only 18 days away, and frankly, it would be awkward if you were still around when she arrives.

There was a period of time in the not-so-distant past where I was able to open the windows and not sweat like Shaq at the foul line. We could sleep with just a fan in the window bringing in the cool, dare I say crisp, un-damp air and actually SLEEP without waking up swimming in the sweat of our own asses. Best of all, I was able to turn off the A/C therefore saving myself lots and lots of cold, hard Benjamin's.

So, in short: Get the fuck out. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

kaythanksloveyoubye,

Noelle